A Croatian Misadventure

The novel I wrote with Stephanie will be coming out in late April. The Moon Tavern takes place mostly in Croatia, where we’ve traveled several times. Four of those five times were on sailboats rented in Dubrovnik. One time, our misadventure involved friends. Here’s that tale:

I’m changing the names of those friends to protect their sterling reputations; let’s call them Pavao and Katica. We’d rented a 42-foot Bavaria out of Dubrovnik, a slow boat designed for coastal cruisers like me who might be more interested in drinking beer than competitive sailing. It’s very roomy and comfortable, with an extra-large refrigerator. We left the marina and headed for the island of Mljet, approximately twenty miles away. According to the Beaufort Scale, the wind was considered a “strong breeze,” 25 to 31 MPH (or 22-27 knots for those persnickety sailors who care). This is considered relatively big winds with 6 to 10-foot waves. Pavao and Katica had never sailed in big waters with high winds.

They turned out to be fearless, actually enjoying the sailboat as it heeled against the wind and drove through the waves with water liberally splashing over the dodger (sailboat windshield). Normally, the 20-mile route would have taken us four hours of sailing. We pulled into a small cove in Mljet in just three. Really exhilarating.

I’d told Pavao and Katica about the tavern or “konoba” in this cove that had phenomenal food. It was run by a family, had maybe ten tables, and was difficult to secure a dinner reservation during the prime summer months. Now, in off-season September, I knew we’d be welcomed for lunch unannounced.

The konoba had floating mooring balls embedded in the bottom of the cove that you could tie your boat up to. Normally, like in the Caribbean, the balls have a six-foot tail you lift up with a boat hook or “gaff.” Not here, just a heavy wire ring attached to the top. The idea is that you hook the ring and pull the whole mooring ball up. Stephanie was on the gaff with Pavao standing ready with a dock line. In the shelter of the cove, the wind was still strong, and the boat was still rocking up and down. The ball-and-ring contraption weighed maybe 20 pounds, and the gaff was no more than a plastic hook on a broomstick. Steph got the ball up a few feet before the boat bounced and pulled the stick right out of her hand.

Here’s where it gets interesting. A kid from the konoba came out in a small skiff to render assistance. But before he could lend assistance, Pavao interrupted with a string of questions: “What’s on the menu? What is fresh?” The kid answered, “Oysters, wild boar, skarpina.” I should mention that Pavao is a real gourmand—loves food and eats a lot of it. He ordered it all.

Meanwhile, the gaff was in the water, and the boat was still bouncing around untethered. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Steph and I had done this drill in the past (Trellis Bay in the BVI’s, while surrounding sailors had their entertainment for afternoon happy hour). Steph stripped off her light dress and jumped into the water. Pavao finished the lunch order, then dropped the dock line down to now-naked Stephanie. She looped the end through the ring and handed the line back up where it was securely cleated. The kid never did provide assistance, but just motored away with our lunch order.

Then the lunch. It was just us. The kid turned out to be both the owners’ grandson and the waiter. The grandfather and grandmother cooked. The oysters were fresh from a pen submerged right off the dock and served with just a slice of lemon. Pavao ordered champagne. Then the skarpina—a spikey, scaly, ugly, red, and poisonous fish, like monkfish, that tastes like lobster. It was served roasted in a hand-wrought iron pan lined with thin slices of roasted potatoes, like apples in a French tart. Of course, a bottle of locally produced white wine was ordered—and consumed. Then, the roasted wild boar with a red-wine sauce served in a similar hand-wrought pan atop more potatoes. “A bottle of your best local red, please!” Let me mention now that I can’t drink wine. I have this food intolerance to wine, wine vinegar, apple cider vinegar, and soy sauce (anything fermented from fruit or beans). A doctor had said I was missing a critical liver enzyme. I couldn’t have any of the wild boar or any of the three bottles of wine. I sipped cold Karlovačko (their version of Budweiser) while Stephanie, Pavao, and Katica got wasted.

We still had another 10 miles of sailing before we could anchor for the night.

It was no use organizing my crew to put up sail, so I motored. All took naps, with Pavao splayed out on the side deck against the stanchions of the lifeline. I literally tied him up with dock lines so he wouldn’t tumble overboard.

Now, I need to cut this story short for my readers:

· Winds blew to Storm Force that night with winds over 50 knots. Thankfully, we saw the storm coming and were able to tie up to the dock facing the oncoming wind. Many of the boats were not so lucky, and Pavao and I had cocktails while watching ship captains yell at each other as their boats slammed together like kids in a mosh pit.

· Sailing from the island of Lastovo (setting for The Moon Tavern), the boat’s engine broke down. The storm had blown through, and now there was little wind. We inched toward the island of Korcula until a mechanic reached us in a chase boat and declared the motor kaput. He towed us into the port town of Vella Luka.

· We took a ferry to Hvar, where the charter company put us up at a resort. Hvar is this beautiful fifteenth-century town known for its nightlife. The resort was dominated by a wedding party from England who proceeded to party poolside ‘till they puked. The next day, they were thankfully banned from the pool.

· Pavao and Katica abandoned us the next day, taking a ferry to Split, where they boarded flights out. Steph and I kept going, taking another ferry to the small island of Sveti Klement to get a new boat. We waited there in the rain until midnight for this poor captain to arrive from Dubrovnik after 10 hours of rough solo sailing.

Our vacation then continued…

The old town of Lastovo on the island of Lastovo

The cove at Zaklopatica on the island of Lastovo

The Book! Coming soon in April